Quest for modesty

So I think that this might just end up as a set of ramblings/complaints about the world/myself.  One of my biggest personel challenges right now has been my quest for modesty. 

• What is modesty? 
• How much is too much to show? 
• How much should I cover? 
• Where should my basis for this be?
• How much should I consult my husband?

I am asking these questions because of a lot of what I see at University, but also (and mostly) what I see at Church.  My husband and I, while devote Catholics, do not attend one specific Church but visit a different Church each week (all Catholic).  We see women and young girls at these Churches, drawn up from conservative families, wearing inappropriate clothing at Church.  I think that these ideas started with my also when I was trying to search for a modest wedding dress (as in, not strapless) and was getting very concerned.  In the end, I found a seamstress who turned a beautiful white shawl with some beading into sleeves for me.  My husband was not too concerned with what I wore that day, as he knew how hot it was going to be outside (we got married mid-summer) and was more concerned with me being comfortable.  He knew that there was no way I could get by in longer sleeves.  After the wedding, we went camping on our honeymoon.  I found it challenging there to stay modest with a limited wardrobe and extreme heat.  Once we got back from our honeymoon, it was time for us to be full time students again.  On my first day back at school, I saw a girl actually wearing this to school-- a strapless black bathing suit with a sheer mini skirt.  That's it!!!  I couldn't believe it.  Was I that out of touch with things that I had missed the fact that it was cool to wear your swimsuit to school?!?  I was, at the time, wearing a mid-length skirt and t-shirt.  I just couldn't believe the difference in outfits.  I'm sure this young lady thought she looked very nice but so did I.  As school kept going, I noticed how young women, especially unmarried women, would only dress up or dress modestly if they had some formal presentation or meeting with a proffesor.  Other married students wore sweats and baggy clothes because 'they had no one they needed to impress'.  When asked what I did one weekend, I told a friend that I had baked banana bread.  His response was that I was so domestic, like it was something horrible that no one would ever choose. 

Ok, so this brings me to New Years.  My resolution this year was to try to wear skirts at least 4 days a week.  I chose this because I find that skirts remind me that I am somehow different and set apart from my husband, while still one with him.  I've found this to be a great challenge and have really enjoyed it.  A couple of things that I have found challenging lately is getting shirts that are not too tight but have femininity.  My usual rule is three fingers under the colar bone and four fingers across each shoulder.  I have heard of different standards for what makes a modest shirt and this is the aspect that I find the most challenging.  Another thing that I am finding challenging is including my husband in this process.  I am trying to ask his opinion more and trying to brainstorm some ideas.  I love asking his opinion as it is sometimes drastically different than mine.  This is something that I definitely need to do more of.  I am planning on only wearing skirts once we move in a few months.  I am actually really exciting about this.  Any suggestions/questions.  I would love to hear any feedback!!  Let me know!